We ain't in Beautancus anymore..., only one spoke left.

I opine to my wife occasionally about the future of churches and if they will be here 20 to 30 years from now.  Most main stream protestant and catholic churches in larger towns now are nothing more than glorified social clubs where people who want to "perform" the act of worship gather to relieve whatever guilt they have from being associated with these bodies of worship for many years. Oh, they make contributions and help people of lesser means and some have soup kitchens the such that serve good purposes, but mostly the people who are members do not have a strong and active belief in God.

 

I have similar concerns about the future of extended family reunions and thus it is with my family the Dixon family of Beautancus NC. Many rural families now are seeing the thrid generation of their families spread out far and wide. These members no longer have the link of having grown up together and spent time during youth as an extended family. That link to a shared past is fading quickly and that link is the key to holding a family together. Rarely today do families consist of 5 or more children who come back "home" regularly.

 

One of the most wonderful blessings I have is to have been born into a large family of aunts and uncles on my father's side. Ten aunts and uncles in the original family meant I had plenty of eyes keeping an eye on me and plenty of love dished out by this extended family. Plenty was the word too when it came to the fact that once this extended family married there were 20 of these aunts and uncles in all. Now many of these aunts and uncles took God's instructions to heart and went forth and multiplied.  When at their highest number we had well over 100 people who would gather at my grandmothers house on Christmas for the family dinner and gift giving. Unless you have had an experience like that there is no way to describe the excitement and joy one had from extended family Christmas Days.  Add in that on many Sunday's we gathered at the old home place in Beautancus as well and you got some serious extended family time.  This my friends is what you get when 10 children grow up on a farm together in the early to mid 1900's.  Blessed truly is the only word to describe this feeling.

 

After my grandmother passed on the family would gather for Christmas Eve at the oldest sisters house and have Christmas Day at their own homes.  Somewhere  along the way that stopped too.  When my mother passed on 1984 the annual family Thanksgiving gathering ended. Then we began to gather in November at a local community building for annual family reunions.  Through all this time one by one the original ten uncles and aunts began to pass from this earthly world. Maybe we cousins realized it at first, maybe we did not since they all seemed to be there forever keeping an eye on us. But as the first few left the world the children left of the original ten would have a wagon wheel of flowers prepared for the funeral with 9 spokes, then eight spokes, then seven spokes, and so forth. Somewhere along the way this tradition ended. Maybe due to the fact the countdown past a certain number did not have the same feeling later on I suppose.  I do not remember when this occurred, but what I do know there is only one spoke left now.  Trust me that is one lonely strange feeling when you realize the wonderful memories of family Christmases will eventually be over for the original ten who made sure we remained family. The final wheel spoke so to speak has worked as hard as anyone could to hold the family together and indeed we still meet the first Sunday in November for a family reunion, now going on 35 years.  

 

But it is not the same as the old days when we would gather regularly.  One spoke of the family has continued their own family gatherings with regular get together's about three times a year and I am blessed to be invited and have a chance to reminisce and watch the young ones there do it all again so to speak. Someday the final spoke in the original ten spokes will be gone and frankly I do not know how to deal with that. Oh, I am sure I will cry and do the funeral stuff.  But not having that anchor to the original family is something I do not want to think about. I suppose I could "think about it tomorrow" as Scarlett did, being a Southerner and all, but think about it I must eventually.

 

Once that happens there is only the cousins left and they are already thinning out. The real thinking here is that I am one of the youngest.  It could very well be me as one of the last limbs on the original family tree that gathered at the old home place to be left somewhere down the road. How does one deal with having simply no one to talk to about the old days?  Do you sit around and daydream, do you get in the car and go back to the old places and experience some sort of melancholy, do you go looking for someone anyone who can talk to you about what used to be.

 

Darned if I know. What I do know is that is likely how the last spoke is thinking right now and I expect I, or whoever it the last one,  will not like it any more than I expect he does.  We ain't in Beautancus anymore.